this is, most definitely, somewhere in the upper middle of my "Top 100 Favorite Things. Ever."

"The classics in five words or fewer..."
[Courtesy, without their full or immediate knowledge, of http://www.rumandmonkey.com/]

"""
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (Jane Austen)
Feisty heroine: "Won't marry!" Marries.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS (Charles Dickens)
Virgin. Discovers humility. Still virgin.

THE ILIAD (Homer)
Fight. Games. Fight. Games. Fight.

FINNEGANS WAKE (James Joyce)
Riverrun. Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk! Irish incomprehensibility. The

THE MAYOR OF CASTERBRIDGE (Thomas Hardy)
Wife sold. Guilt. Regained. Misery.

ROMEO AND JULIET (William Shakespeare)
Hormones conquer Verona. Cast expire.

MACBETH (William Shakespeare)
Macbeth king. Witches: "die!" Does.

THE BIBLE (God with co-writers)
Creation!
begat
begat
begat
Saved!

PARADISE LOST (John Milton)
Devil pontificates. God somewhat irrelevant.

THE PRINCE (Niccolò Machiavelli)
Teach yourself bastard. Be thanked.

ON THE ROAD (Jack Kerouac)
Bored. Travels. Bored. Travels. Bored.

THE CATCHER IN THE RYE (JD Salinger)
Complain, moan, sarcasm, mooch, MESSAGE

THE ART OF WAR (Sun Tzu)
Win then fight. Helpful, apparently.

DEAD SOULS (Nikolai Gogol)
VAST MORAL EPIC bugger, suicide.

1984 (George Orwell)
Misery. Tortured by State. Happy.

THE ODYSSEY
Back late. Wife happy. Mythical.
"""

I'm going to spend the rest of the day coming up with my own additions!

My own addition the first:
WAITING FOR GODOT (Samuel Beckett)
"Go." "Can't." "Why?" "Waiting." "Ah."

That was more fun than I care to admit publicly.